Catch Up, Camping and Other Adventures

Not surprisingly, I am behind again. I have lots and lots of photos below and many of them are just in the order I uploaded them! So, please bear with me because they are not in chronological order. The first set of photos is from Kristi's baby shower. Kristi, my lifelong friend, will be giving birth to Sydney Klodzinski in the first week of March! I am so excited for her! Alicia, our 3rd Muskateer was sick with the flu, but still provided a delicious punch recipe, a fruit tray with yummy fruit dip and the cutest little tutu and bow for Sydney! We missed her, but were all happy that she didn't share her flu germs with us. This was the first shower I have ever hosted, so I was a little nervous, but I think it turned out well. Heather was invaluable, she helped me pick out games and decorations, she helped clean the house and make the food. I am so happy I had so much help! This first picture is of Kristi and me. Kristi and her mom, Geneva Nicholas

Kristi and the cake (it was really good!)

Heather, my mom and me

Heather getting some punch

The next set of photos are from Caleb and Paul's camping trip! I am not sure exactly how to describe all the emotions this trip brings up for me. Caleb was so excited it was contagious. For weeks, he would ask us how much longer until he got to go camping, would talk about what he and Daddy were going to do when they got there, ask if they could "___" when they went. The night before they were going to leave, he was so excited that he asked if he could go to bed early so he could make it hurry and be morning. Seeing my little guy this excited made me excited for him! I am so happy that he got to spend a weekend with his Daddy and that he looked forward to it so much! As adults, it's hard to get too excited about anything. New purchases come with bills and new responsibilities, vacations mean lots of preparation, extra expenses, packing, unpacking, laundry, stresses of unfamiliar situations, etc. Adulthood just doesn't afford many opportunities to experience unbridled joy without any anxiety. Watching Caleb be so excited with his only worries being that Daddy would sleep in the tent with him and that he could take Yellow Puppy (his favorite stuffed animal) was all he needed to know to feel secure. Wouldn't it be wonderful to experience that kind of happiness again? His joy made me joyful, he has such an unbridled, unhibited zest for life. Every emotion that he feels, he feels to the utmost of his being. There are times when this is very stressful for Paul and me, when Caleb is angry or upset, his emotions are difficult to deal with. After years of not knowing what to do, I think we are finally realizing that we cannot control Caleb's actions or emotions, the best we can do is model anger control and try to calmly talk him through his not-so-pleasant emotional outbursts. I am starting to see myself as more of a guide than a law maker because there is no controlling him. He just fights back harder and I've started seeing him in a whole new way that just about breaks my heart. When he is in trouble and sitting on his bed, I just recently have started going up there to talk to him while he is still angry (I used to wait until he had time to calm down) and my little guy is so angry that he is shaking and crying. I used to think he was defiant and I needed to "break his will". Now I think this was the most horrible, awful approach to such a pure little spirit. When I am able to be calm and talk quietly, empathize with him and kindly explain a better course of action in the future, he just begs for hugs and kisses and tells me he is sorry. When I yell, reprimand and try to "make" him do something, he responds like a wounded animal, he just lashes out. As a parent, I want to teach by example, to be willing to love and forgive, to be approachable and not be so quick to condemn. I remember when we had the boys Dedicated at church, Pastor Sal told the parents that we were going to make mistakes as parents, but when we erred, to err on the side of grace. At the time, I just accepted that as that I was already being a kind parent because I don't dole out painful punishments. Now, I think that words and harsh actions can be just as harmful, if not more so, to a child. I went off on a long tangent here, but my Caleb has pushed me and taught me new lessons in life. I still struggle with how best to parent him, but for now, I think we are on the right track. I suspect that all 3 of my kids will teach me as much as I teach them. I hope that when they look back on their childhood they remember a mom who was quick to praise, hug and forgive and not a condeming woman with steam blowing out of her ears who ran around shouting orders and doling out punishments.

Back to Caleb and his uninhibited approach to life and his exceptional joy at a weekend camping trip with his Daddy; they had a very good time. The first day they put up the tent, ate lunch, played on the playground, went riding in paddle boats, fished, played some more on the playground, roasted marshmallows and hotdogs for dinner!

This is them before they left the house

Caleb standing in front of the tent

Caleb eating lunch, I am sure you will notice his a bottle of his beloved root beer next to him.
Playing at the playground

In this picture, Caleb is swinging. I was actually talking to Paul while he was pushing Caleb on the swings. Paul pushed him much higher than I usually push him and at first Caleb was screaming in fear. Paul consoled him a bit and Caleb started sounding a little happier but hestitant. When he decided that it was safe and he wasn't going to fall out, he started screaming again but this time just out of happiness and enjoying the moment.

The paddle boats


Before they left, Caleb was watching a show on TV where a boy was climbing a tree and he looked at me and said "Mommy, you never let me climb trees". I was not sure where that came from because there are no trees around us that lend themselves to climbing. He seems to be enjoying climbing this tree anyway!

Roasting hot dogs for dinner (of course, since I bought their supplies, this is an Organic Turkey hot dog with no nitrates or nitrites! HA HA)

Saturday morning, Caleb woke up ready to go fishing! So, they headed out with poles and tackle.
This picture is so sad, it makes me want to cry just looking at it. Apparently Caleb was hopping on the rocks, slipped and got soaked. Paul said he was upset because he thought it meant they couldn't fish anymore.

They got him some dry pants and shoes and went back out fishing again. My little guy caught 3 fish! This is the first one
the second one

and if you look to the left above his head, you will see the third one.


Paul said he made him touch them before throwing them back but Caleb wasn't very excited about touching "gross" fish. Paul said the only thing that got him to touch them was that Paul said he could tell me about it and that I would think it was yucky. I do think it was yucky and I don't know why he had to touch them but I am just going to accept it as a guy thing. That night they roasted hot dogs and marshmallows again and got up early the next morning. They were home about 10:30 AM and after unloading and showering, we all had a nice lunch at Jason's Deli. I was very happy to see my guys!

What was I doing while they were gone? Getting henna tattoos, of course! Zachary spent some time with Becky (Paul's mom) while I had some friends over. We had lots of yummy snacks (including the delicious brownies I made below), chatted and my friend, Amy, gave us all beautiful henna tattoos. Henna is a made from crushed up leaves and scented oils and it makes this deep reddish brown temporary stain on your skin. It's perfectly safe and it lasts 1-3 weeks. I have one on my hand and my foot.

On my birthday, the kids and I went to the Olive Garden. We had a nice time and the kids were pretty good.

Caleb smiling at me
Who needs forks when your hands work better?

Zachary playing "peek-a-boo" by putting his napkin on his head

Caleb and me

Heather and Zachy

The boys and I made German Chocolate cupcakes for my birthday. They are so good! They may not be beautiful, but they are super tasty.

On Tuesday, I went to lunch with my friend Jessica and her new baby, JT. He is 7 weeks old in this picture but he was born 6 weeks early, so he should be 1 week old. Jessica looks awesome and is really enjoying motherhood. Little JT is 8 pounds and adorable!

A few weekends ago, April & James came into town to visit Becky & Doug and they invited us to eat out with them. We went to Kenny & Ziggy's. It was really expensive but the portions were massive. Zachary spent most of the meal trying to ruin Becky's food & drinks. He thought her drink needed whole sugar packets dipped in it, his fingers were required to increase the flavor of everything she had and was especially fascinated with her au jus sauce. Caleb is learning to write in school and I was lucky enough to get a picture of him working on his letters. He is doing so well!

Zachary has become fascinated with the toaster lately and keeps sticking items in there when we aren't looking. The night before this picture was taken, I had cleaned many miscellaneous items out of the toaster. The next morning I was making the kids some frozen waffles and didn't think to look in there because I had just emptied it and didn't think Zachary had time to put anything new in there. Below is a picture of what happens to a pen when you "toast" it.

The weekend Zachary and I were alone (Paul & Caleb were camping) we went to the park and
Zachary had such a wonderful time swinging.

On Valentine's Day my mom took the boys and me out to eat breakfast at Denny's and then we went back to her house to play. The boys had a great time visiting with Grammy and especially loved the Sprite she gave them.

Lately, the boys have been fighting NON-STOP! They are pushing, shoving, hitting, kicking, taking toys away from one another and just being mean. Below was one of the rare moments where they are being loving and sweet.

I think we are finished with the cold weather, but we enjoyed it while it lasted. This next picture was taken on an especially cold day before the boys went to Pre-school. They are too cute in their hats and gloves.
One night when it was especially cold outside, we decided to make s'mores in the fireplace. Heather didn't think it was "safe" but I'm not sure how it's different from a campfire other than there are less exposed side of the fire, making it easier to keep little kids from falling in. The boys liked to burn the marshmallows and enjoyed it when they lit up with fire. However, they did not want to eat those blackened little pieces of hard sugar. We had a good time.

Parenting A Teenager

Well, we have had our first major drama issue this weekend and I hope we did OK. Our little Heather's heart was broken by Jacob, her boyfriend of 2 1/2 months. (This is Heather's 3rd boyfriend, but this was the first boy she ever talked to outside of school -- they did not go on dates or see one another outside of school but were on the phone & Facebook pretty often). Until this happened, we did not understand parents who got too involved in their kids' lives and we really, really did not understand parents involved in cyber-bullying. We may have crossed the line into being too involved, but we did try to make this a good time to talk about cyber-bullying.

The story unfolded as follows, Heather and Jacob were dating happily, no signs of problems as far as Heather knew until Friday morning. (This was the ice storm day when school was cancelled). Heather gets a text from Jacob that morning that says he doesn't think it's working out anymore. We think he is a little punk for breaking up with her by text message and for doing it at the start of a 3 day weekend because he won't have to talk to her or explain anything for 3 days. Heather is at her mom's that weekend so Paul and I can mainly communicate with her via text messaging and FaceBook. Her wall on FaceBook is full of the kind of stuff you would expect from a slightly dramatic girl experiencing her first heartbreak. Paul and I were quite worried about her all weekend and more often than not, she was our topic of conversation. Paul sent her a text jokingly offering to arrest the boy for breaking her heart and we "liked" a comment on FaceBook by her older brother that also jokingly said he was going to "beat Jacob's butt". Just to be on the safe side (or the dorky side, whichever) I sent Heather a FaceBook message saying that while I am not supportive of violence, I did think Kevin's (Heather's older brother) post was funny and it was awesome that he was feeling protective of his little sister.

The next morning, Jacob apparently called her, apologized and asked her to go out with him again. Heather told him to wait until Sunday night and then she would let him know. She says that she blocked him from viewing all of her very sad posts from FaceBook; hopefully she did. All day Saturday and Sunday she wrestled with decision. Some of her friends were picking on her a lot for even considering it but she was sad and wanted things to be how they were. Paul talked to her and told her it was her decision but to remember that if she was too easy on him, he would do it again. Sunday night, she told Jacob that she would go out with him again. A few of her friends made fun of her on her wall. I was a bit worried for her on Monday, I was afraid she was going to have a rough day.

Monday she came home from school and barely made it through the door before she was in tears. Jacob ignored her all day at school. We tried to make her feel better, we talked about how learning to date is hard for everyone and gave her our suggestions for how to deal with these things next time. She was trying to decide if she was going to break up with him while she did her homework and chores and by the time she made the decision that it was best to let the relationship go, she got ANOTHER text from this boy saying that he was in love with some other girl. We took advantage of this opportunity to talk about healthy relationships. We told her that relationships come and go and we would never be upset with anyone for simply breaking up with her. If your feelings change, you have to upfront and honest with people. We also told her that if she ever wanted to break up with someone, that was OK too. However, we told her that the right way to do it, is to talk about it in person and do it nicely and respectfully. We did not approve of Jacob taking the cowardly way out and that was why we were upset with him. Obviously, Heather was hurt and started to write "loser" on his wall, but we encouraged her not to, saying that while we don't like the boy for how he treated her, it's not nice to name call. We strongly suggested she "unfriend" him on FaceBook which she did not seem to want to do but when she finally decided to, she seemed instantly happier. She was still pretty upset, so to make her feel better, Paul found a picture of a horse's behind and told her she could post that on her wall and just ask who that could be. She did not name any names and she could not tag him in the photo because she wasn't his friend anymore. She lit up after that and was in a great mood the rest of the evening. I hope that we made her feel a little empowered and helped her to know that she didn't just have to take other people's crap. At some point, one of her friends who is also friends with Jacob, tagged him in the photo and I guess Jacob untagged himself. Heather put on FaceBook that they should tag him again and Paul asked her to take that comment off. He reminded her that he was a person with feelings and if he didn't want it on his wall, he shouldn't have to have it there. She quickly deleted her comment.

This morning before she went to school, I reminded her that the only reason we were OK with the picture is because he was pretty mean to her. I reminded her again, that she is not to call him names on FaceBook or at school because that could be considered bullying. She seemed to get it and I am hoping that she refrains from being ugly to him at school today. It is so tempting when someone has hurt you to be cruel, but she is such a smart kid that I think she'll do the right thing.

I don't think that we will get as involved in her future relationships but it is hard to know where the line is. We want to use these opportunities to teach her and if we aren't involved, we won't be able to. We want her to know that we love and support her no matter what she does, but that we do want the best for her. So, how does a parent know how much to be involved? I don't know. I do hope this boy Jacob has learned to treat girls with a little more respect and I hope Heather has learned that she isn't a doormat and doesn't have to just take whatever is dished out to her. I'm sure he is a nice kid or else Heather wouldn't have liked him in the first place.